Thursday, October 28, 2010


I got home from work today and started cleaning my house for premarital counseling tonight. As I was cleaning, memories began flooding into my head of all the things that have happened in this house. This has been happening a lot lately... especially since its getting closer and closer to us selling it and moving to St. Louis. I usually don't have too much of an attachment to things, but this house is different. I have a strong attachment to it. I think it's because this is not only the first house we have bought together, but its also the first house we fixed up and worked on together (for before and after pictures, click here). We put a lot of work into this house, and have a lot of memories before we even moved into it. There have been many more memories since moving here and I'm definitely going to miss this wonderful house.

Not the best picture of the house, but our first one. This was before we bought it and for some reason the screen was taken out of the window? We were going in to plan our updates :)

We have some friends hopefully lined up to buy it from us. This house was rented out before us by some guys in our church and then we bought it as soon as they moved out. If our friends buy the house from us, it will stay in the church. I'm hoping and praying that it will work out to where they can buy it from us.

There are SO many memories of group get togethers, hang outs, babies playing, counseling sessions, leadership meetings, sewing adventures, movies watched, and amazing conversations made in our comfortable homey living room.

Sometimes I just sit the couch and look out into the living room from this exact perspective and think about all the times I had with Asher and Dallas. I really miss staying at home with them. I can't wait until God gives us children of our own that we can make tons of memories with.

SO many memories of great meals cooked, wonderful desserts baked, feeding babies, more counseling sessions, meetings, and talks, and many many dinners with guests that have become incredible life long friends all happened in this kitchen.

What I'm beginning to miss most are the memories of Suzanne and Dallas being here. As many of you know, she moved out from upstairs to live with her parents. A lot has changed in our relationship with Suzanne over the past several months. I've probably felt every emotion possible towards the situation, and now I'm really beginning to mourn over them being gone. There really isn't any communication or friendship left there, and it breaks my heart. For a while I've been angry about the things that have happened, just like I was the last time she moved out (January). However, this time it's different. I'm not so sure she'll actually come back this time, and we're moving. So the fact is, we may never see them again. What really breaks my heart is we've spent so much time with Dallas, and we love her so much as if she were our own. We still often quote Dallas' sayings and envision her running around the house playing with Leo or in her little red chair (pictured above in the living room). But in a short while she won't even remember us anymore. It almost feels like a dream now. All I have left to do is pray and trust God in all of this.

I know that as it gets closer to us leaving its going to get harder, not only leaving the first house we bought together, but also leaving our church family. But I'm also super excited to go where God is leading us and I know we're going to make many great new memories there too. God is good and He loves His children.


  1. Wow, I had no idea Suzanne moved out! I was curious about it b/c I hadn't seen her or heard about her in a while, but I wasn't sure. I'm so sorry! I can't imagine how heartbreaking that must be. I know how much you guys love her and Dallas.

  2. Awww that is so moving and makes me want to cry!! Who is possibly planning to buy your house!?! That would be so cool to keep it in the family ;) I am enjoying reading your blog, you'll have to keep posting even from your new cities/states!!