Memories

I got home from work today and started cleaning my house for premarital counseling tonight. As I was cleaning, memories began flooding into my head of all the things that have happened in this house. This has been happening a lot lately... especially since its getting closer and closer to us selling it and moving to St. Louis. I usually don't have too much of an attachment to things, but this house is different. I have a strong attachment to it. I think it's because this is not only the first house we have bought together, but its also the first house we fixed up and worked on together (for before and after pictures, click here). We put a lot of work into this house, and have a lot of memories before we even moved into it. There have been many more memories since moving here and I'm definitely going to miss this wonderful house.

Not the best picture of the house, but our first one. This was before we bought it and for some reason the screen was taken out of the window? We were going in to plan our updates :)

We have some friends hopefully lined up to buy it from us. This house was rented out before us by some guys in our church and then we bought it as soon as they moved out. If our friends buy the house from us, it will stay in the church. I'm hoping and praying that it will work out to where they can buy it from us.

There are SO many memories of group get togethers, hang outs, babies playing, counseling sessions, leadership meetings, sewing adventures, movies watched, and amazing conversations made in our comfortable homey living room.

Sometimes I just sit the couch and look out into the living room from this exact perspective and think about all the times I had with Asher and Dallas. I really miss staying at home with them. I can't wait until God gives us children of our own that we can make tons of memories with.

SO many memories of great meals cooked, wonderful desserts baked, feeding babies, more counseling sessions, meetings, and talks, and many many dinners with guests that have become incredible life long friends all happened in this kitchen.

What I'm beginning to miss most are the memories of Suzanne and Dallas being here. As many of you know, she moved out from upstairs to live with her parents. A lot has changed in our relationship with Suzanne over the past several months. I've probably felt every emotion possible towards the situation, and now I'm really beginning to mourn over them being gone. There really isn't any communication or friendship left there, and it breaks my heart. For a while I've been angry about the things that have happened, just like I was the last time she moved out (January). However, this time it's different. I'm not so sure she'll actually come back this time, and we're moving. So the fact is, we may never see them again. What really breaks my heart is we've spent so much time with Dallas, and we love her so much as if she were our own. We still often quote Dallas' sayings and envision her running around the house playing with Leo or in her little red chair (pictured above in the living room). But in a short while she won't even remember us anymore. It almost feels like a dream now. All I have left to do is pray and trust God in all of this.

I know that as it gets closer to us leaving its going to get harder, not only leaving the first house we bought together, but also leaving our church family. But I'm also super excited to go where God is leading us and I know we're going to make many great new memories there too. God is good and He loves His children.

I started this post last Saturday...

and I am just now getting to it. I've come to the conclusion that if I actually sit down to blog when I want to, then I wouldn't have a major amount of things to blog about when I sit down to do it later!

I was reading some other blogs on how people are using blog trackers. I thought that was a great idea, just to see how many people were looking at my blog and where they were from. So I started using one, and noticed that a lot of people were actually finding my blog by searching unpaper towels on google. It got me thinking, maybe I should start selling them again? A lot of people out there seem to interested in it. When I started making them to sell, not many people seemed interested, at least in Statesboro. Maybe others outside of our little town have actually heard of them and are interested in them. The people that are most interested in Statesboro are the ones who know me or come over to our house and see them on our countertop. What do ya'll think about unpaper towels? Have you heard of them, like them, would you ever use them? I'm interested to know other's thoughts.

I was struggling a lot this past week (week before last now) with getting pregnant. I think this is just one of those things that's always going to be a roller coaster of emotions. At the beginning of the month, we're both super hopeful for what the month is going to hold. Will this be the month it happens?! Then, the second half of the month is a waiting period wondering if it's going to happen or not. Then it doesn't, and I go through all of these emotions of sadness, frustration, and loss of hope. I know a lot of it has to do with the hormones that are already going on at that time, but it's still just one of those things that I feel like I'm always going to struggle with.

This month I noticed Brice was more upset than usual. I think as more time passes, the more he's wanting a child. When he found out we weren't pregnant this time around, he expressed to me that he was just as upset about it as I was. I know that he's always been upset when we thought we might be pregnant and weren't, but for some reason this time it seemed different. He seemed more sad about it not happening than normal. However, he is still very strong and positive about us getting pregnant when it's God's timing. A lot of times its very hard for me to be positive and hopeful about it, so it's very helpful to have him there as a support.

I'm also extremely thankful for the women God has put in my life to support and encourage me through this time. I was able to talk to one of them last week about it and just pour out to her what was going on and the emotions I was going through. She prayed for me and was tremendously encouraging. She told me things from an outsiders perspective; things I never noticed which helped put things into perspective for me. I don't know what I would do without women like that in my life. It is super hard to go through something so emotionally draining and not ever knowing when the emotional cycle will end. I can't imagine going through it without other women in my life to talk to.

I've been thinking a lot lately about writing a book. Well, not so much a book at this point, but sort of like a journal of mine and Brice's story. I've told so many people about how we met and what has happened in our lives, and almost everyone I've told has suggested we write a book. People love to hear stories like ours, and everyone says it would be such a good book. I'm not sure if I actually want to write a book, but I definitely want to write it all down and be able to look back on it and read it. I would love to have something like that for our children to read one day too. I'm just not sure how to get everything I want to put it in down. There's so many things and events that have happened and are happening now that I want to include, but how do I ensure that I get everything before I start writing it out? I want it to be in order and if I start writing then remember something, I won't be able to go back to put it in. That always happens when I go to write things out. I think I know everything I want to put in there, then I'll remember something I wanted to add but forgot. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to do this? I'm think I'm just going to brainstorm in a notebook and try to remember as much as I can. Then, when I'm pretty sure I've gotten it all, I'll start writing it out in a nice journal.

Brice had off all this week for fall break so we took a night and went to the fair. It was SO much fun. We went with a group of friends, and we rode a bunch of rides.

We rode this awesome ride called the Crazy Mouse. It's one of those mini roller coaster type rides where you are in the little car and it feels like you are going to go right over the side of the tracks. We went on this ride the first time, and loved it so much we went straight back in line to ride again! Brice had the great idea of make a video of us while riding it.

So much fun!

Two Reasons to Celebrate

This weekend we have two huge events to celebrate. 1st, yesterday was Suzanne's 23rd birthday!

Happy Birthday Suzanne :)

2nd, today marks the anniversary of when Suzanne and Dallas moved in with us and became a part of our family!

We are going to Savannah tomorrow to celebrate these two huge life-changing days, by going out to eat and just doing some fun things around town. We love you Suzanne and Dallas and are so happy God brought you into our lives!

Four Years of Marriage!

Yesterday Brice and I went to Savannah to celebrate our 4 year anniversary. It was supposed to rain all day, but it turned out to be a beautiful day. We went to The Pirates House and had lunch together. We've heard so many people talk about it so we wanted to check it out. History fascinates me, so it was the perfect place to go.

The Front Sign

The sign on the Pirate House

The Pirates House

The Herb House

The Herb House.

It is attached to the Pirate House.

Sitting at our table

This was the sign above a hole in the house. It was the rum cellar and supposedly there are tunnels running underneath the house that go all the way to the river.

This is the hole. You can see an opening to a tunnel on the right.

I'm glad we live so close to such a historical city. There's so much to see in Savannah. I hope one day that we are able to go somewhere out of the country to see even bigger historical sites. Anywhere in Europe would be amazing, and Israel would be even better! All the Biblical history that exists there... it's just absolutely fascinating to me!

We were also able to spend the day just walking around and shopping together. We walked down Broughton St. in Savannah and went into all the fun shops. It was a great relaxing day spent with my love! I'm so thankful that God has given me such an amazing man to love me and take care of me. He is everything I could ever ask for in a husband and much more! He strives to love me and lead me as Christ loves the church, he is amazing with children, he is very hardworking, gentle, caring, and extremely patient, he's a strong leader, he's an incredible handyman, he listens and hears everything I say, he blesses me with random gifts all the time, even when I don't deserve them, he truly loves and cares for others, he loves God more than anything, he's my best friend and knows exactly how to encourage me no matter what I'm going through... I could go on and on. God is continually doing amazing things in my husband's life and I love everything about him! And as much as I want children, I am VERY thankful to God for all the time he has given us to spend together. I wouldn't want to change it for anything. I love you Brice and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, however it looks and wherever God takes us!

Week in Review

So today is Friday, yay! I love Fridays because I either have off of work or I only work for about 2-3 hours. It's wonderful because I get to have some time to myself to read, clean, nap, sew... even though I have not sewn in probably over 6 months. Lately I've really been wanting to start again, so hopefully I'll be able to find some time to do that. Anyways, Fridays are just great days!

Yesterday marked our 4th year of marriage! I can't believe we have been married for 4 years already! We didn't really get to celebrate since it was on a weekday and we had a lot going on. I came home from work at 2 and cleaned the house, cooked dinner, and then went to work out at 5:30. Then we had our life mission group at 7. So not much time to really celebrate or do anything fun. However, Jordan and I made a confetti cake with confetti icing and we ate that with everyone after life mission group. That's my most favorite cake ever! Brice also got me a new faucet for our kitchen sink! It's one of those really nice ones that can detach and convert into a sprayer! It's so much easier to clean after I cook now because the faucet is higher up and I can detach it! It's so funny the things you get excited about when you own a home. Brice and I are going to actually celebrate our anniversary on Saturday in Savannah. We're going to check out the Pirate House that we've heard so many good things about. I'm looking forward to having a whole day to spend with my husband alone, just the two of us!

So this is the second week I've been consistently working out. There is a class from 5:30-6:30 every Mon, Tues, and Thurs at a church in our town. The instructor does weight training on Monday, and either step aerobics, kick boxing, or pilates the other two days. I LOVE it so far! It's only $2 a class, which is completely doable, and it's so laid back. If you can't come a certain day it's no big deal. I'm sore after each class which is a wonderful feeling. I've really needed to consistently work out for a long time. I have never been consistent or motivated with it and so everything else I've ever tried has failed. I really need to include working out as a major part of my diet, especially since I'm having trouble getting pregnant. Now I need to work on other parts of my diet, such as eating (and drinking) less sugar. We usually eat very healthy lunches and dinners, but lately I've been craving cake ( like confetti cake :) ) and sweet tea. So I'll drink sweet tea with lunch, and sometimes dinner, and that's a lot of sugar. That's not counting what other sugar I may have consumed that day through the things I've eaten. I just get so sick of water sometimes. I drink tons of water each day, and sometimes I just want some flavor!

I have not heard any news yet on my blood work. I'm hoping I'll hear something on Monday. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad sign, since I was told they would let me know something on Wednesday. They were really good about calling us with Brice's results within about two or three days. It's just really hard to be patient with this process because it seems like the answers to our issues are so close. I just wish that they could do everything at once to see what's going on. However, it makes complete sense that they have to do certain things during certain times of the month, because my body goes through a cycle of different hormones. I'll probably be getting my HSG test sometime late next week or early the following week. I'm just praying that they find something small and easily fixable. I'm nervous to get a result back that says I'm not ovulating, and then he'll have to put us on clomid again. It's hard not to think about our previous experience with it and how difficult it was with the doctor we were seeing. I just need to trust God and have faith in Him through this process. Who knows what He has in store for us, but I'm excited to find out!

Tonight we are having dinner with the Curley's! I'm very excited to spend time with them and see their new house! I had so much fun catching up and hanging out with Christy on the 4th of July. It's already been a month since we've hung out! I wish we could hang out and do more things together. We have so much fun when we're together... I'm really looking forward to relaxing and having some fun tonight!